The Greatest Gifts
Growing up, it was a running joke in my house that I liked giving gifts more than I liked receiving them. I always had something for everyone and, on Hannukah, would bounce up and down excitedly, waiting for others to open my presents. Sometimes, just to torture me, my dad would sit there, gift in lap, refusing to open it until I couldn’t take it any more and I’d grab my dad’s present and rip it open for him.
My dad was never one for giving gifts when he was “supposed to”. Birthdays, Hanukkah…rarely did I get something from him on a designated gifting occasion (always from my mom giving him credit, but clearly never from him).
But when my dad does give a gift, it’s usually a great one and always a doozie. When I was in college, my parents took my brother and I each on a solo trip in Italy. I went with mom, my brother went with dad. One day, while on a walk, I saw a small metal purse shaped like a rabbit in a store window. I love rabbits—I had a pet bunny named Murphy for eleven years. Anyhow, I saw it, loved it, but said nothing.
A week later, when we’d caught up with my dad, he said, “I got you the best gift.” He brought out a small bag stuffed with paper. I looked at the bag—I couldn’t see anything of what was inside— and said, “Is that a bunny purse?” His eyes went wide: “How could you possibly know that?” He’d passed the same store in his travels with my brother, saw it and knew I’d love it.
When I was graduating college, my father literally pulled me out of the procession to show me the Cindy Sherman photo he’d bought me as a graduation gift. For the first time, he was the one who was so excited that it couldn’t wait. It was a black and white photo of mannequin parts…SO creepy (Look it up…Cindy Sherman, Sex Pictures, 1992). I didn’t appreciate the subject-matter or his timing. He was disappointed that I didn’t immediately appreciate Sherman’s commentary on misogyny and sexism (at least not at that moment). I mean, what better gift for a Barnard girl?
Like I said, usually great, always a doozie and when he wanted to, not when he was told to.
I got to thinking about gifts and how the most meaningful ones can catch you by surprise because of the wok we bought our 14-year-old son this Christmas. He’d been asking for one for weeks. We got him the wok, a cookbook, ladles, spoons, etc., and then went shopping for some pantry staples. He’s been using it to make meals for the whole family at least twice a week since he got it. He picks out recipes and we go shopping together and then he listens to an audiobook and cooks. It’s more than just a cooking pot—it gives him peace. It’s an expression of joy, love, giving, and precious time together.
Some of the most modest gifts bring the greatest joy. One of the things that my husband and I first connected over was our love of books…specifically, science fiction and historic fiction. On our first date, we sat in the window of a bar overlooking midtown Manhattan and talked about Asimov and books about World War II. Growing up, I had a dog named Bilbo and he had one named Strider. For years afterwards, for every milestone my husband and I hit together, he gave me a copy of one of his favorite novels. Or the aquatic-themed paintings my daughter has painted for me for each birthday for the past three years because I’m a scuba diver and she knows I love anything sea. Or the small panda bear my brother gave me for my fifth birthday—he walked into town by himself, picked it out, and used his own allowance to pay for it.
I’m not the first to say that the greatest gifts are the ones that come from the heart. It’s not about the when or the what, but the how and the why. And the especially great ones bring us together—they give us something to do together or to talk about or to treasure because of what they remind us of. And the truly epic ones, well…dad…those make for great stories.
Gifts for You
Like I said, I love giving gifts. A bookish prize is going to one of my readers to celebrate my reaching 100+ reviews on Amazon!
My next giveaway will be when I reach 500 followers here on Substack.
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Bookish Gifts
Here is the wok cookbook that we got my son. It’s got a lot of great, easy to follow recipes and many practical tips and tricks. So far, everything is delicious!
